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1. I just put a casserole in the oven.

2. My plastic surgery needed some “tweaking” to get it just right.

3. I was sitting in the bathroom and my feet and legs fell asleep. When I stood up, I fell and broke my ankle.

4. I had been at the casino all weekend and still had money left to play with on Monday morning.

5. I woke up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it.

6. I had a “lucky night” and didn’t know where I was.

7. I got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store and couldn’t get out.

8. I had a gall stone I wanted to heal holistically.

9. I caught my uniform on fire by putting it in the microwave to dry.

10. I accidentally got on a plane.

I love number 5, too bad I did not think of it myself when I was working.

From http://www.forbes.com/sites/susanadams/2014/10/23/the-most-ridiculous-excuses-for-skipping-work/