and I’m not depressed! Yea Retirement!
1. I just put a casserole in the oven.
2. My plastic surgery needed some “tweaking” to get it just right.
3. I was sitting in the bathroom and my feet and legs fell asleep. When I stood up, I fell and broke my ankle.
4. I had been at the casino all weekend and still had money left to play with on Monday morning.
5. I woke up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it.
6. I had a “lucky night” and didn’t know where I was.
7. I got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store and couldn’t get out.
8. I had a gall stone I wanted to heal holistically.
9. I caught my uniform on fire by putting it in the microwave to dry.
10. I accidentally got on a plane.
I love number 5, too bad I did not think of it myself when I was working.
I’m not talking about rat terriers, one my favorite dog breeds – we have 3 of them – but the other kind of rat. The unwanted kind. The vermin kind. The building that I work in, nicknamed Katrina West by myself and colleague B.B., has rats. Field mice were observed in the fall and traps put out for them. This week several rats were caught in these traps. I personally have not seen either rats or mice.
When the mice were discovered I offered to bring in a couple of rat terriers to provide rodent control services. One of mine has a very high prey drive and likely would kill some mice. This was declined.
Ours is not the only new county building to be populated with vermin. The new juvenile jail/court building has the same problem. I heard from a good source that a judge there has been bringing in her own pair of Persian cats, and they have been effective in keeping her office rodent free. County politics being what they are, no one will tell a judge that she cannot user her cats for this purpose. In our county:
Elected officials believe they answer only to God
Except for the judges, for whom the reporting relationship is reversed
Only half kidding about this.